Things I love about Heston and life with Heston: How he makes his brothers better people

I love how Heston has made his brothers better people.

I have read many articles about how difficult it is for siblings of kids with special needs and/ or terminal illnesses.  Much of the family time and focus goes to the high needs child, and often the siblings are neglected and miss out.  I don't want to belittle these things for a moment and absolutely want us to be aware of the extreme challenges that the siblings face.  But so often I think we forget to see the tremendous value that a special needs and terminal child is to his or her siblings.  I have shared over and over what a precious gift Heston has been to me- how he has changed my perspective on life, made me a more loving, deeper person.  But that gift is not exclusive to me, the parent.

When Heston was first diagnosed one of the first thoughts I had was that I knew my other boys would grow up to be greater people from growing up alongside him, and experiencing so much from him.  I didn't just come up with that off the top of my head.  It is something I have seen from others who have been siblings of people with special needs.  I know there are always exceptions to every rule, but don't you find that people who have a special needs sibling seem to have something special about them?  I have seen it so many times that I know it is not just a fluke.

We all know a special needs child takes a lot of work.  Since Heston takes a big chunk of my time and energy, my other boys have learned to be more patient, and more responsible.  At times they have had to help care for each other, and for him.  This has taught them to be caring, kind, and to look out for the needs of others.  When we stay at places like Canuck place my boys are exposed to kids of all different abilities, and experience their value when they are all included in the same activities.  They have become familiar with kids who are fairly high functioning, kids who need more help, and some kids who can barely swallow.  All of these kids would have made me completely uncomfortable as a child, having absolutely no experience, but my boys are used to it.  It doesn't phase them, and I think that is amazing.

I have watched my boys over the years each love Heston in their own ways.  They look out for him, they care for him, and they desire to make him happy.  Just as an example I want to share that each Christmas we as a family pick out a special new stuffie for Heston's gift.  It is a tradition we have kept for a number of years, and it is always fun to decide together which one we think would be best for our Heston.  The last few years we have picked one from the company "Cuddle and Kind" and for us it entails quite the voting process.  We vote from all the choices available, narrow it down to a top two, add a wild card spot to make it a top three and then vote again.  It is quite the event in our house and honestly a bit unnecessary, but I am always so excited to see how invested the boys get into it.  Each year it is a big deal and they are so excited for Heston to receive this gift.  To them he is important, and that makes this gift important.  They recognize that while Heston can't express what he would like, we still want to get him something special.  It really is a beautiful thing.

My boys are far from perfect, and each of them has benefited from what they have learned from Heston in different ways.  But one thing I know for certain, and that is that Heston has been an incredible gift to each of them.  They are better people because of what they have learned from their brother and I am so proud of them.